Bonus Stage 2 - Warfare: 1917

If this was the real World War I, then there would be no Britian today. Your team is the most disobedient team ever. If you want the team to STAY in the TRENCH, they'll stay in the trench.. until 3 teams have gotten inside the trench. Then they just skip the trench and attack the enemy team. Obviously they get killed. Not only that, but your troops actually complain because some idiot died because he didn't do what I told him to, and then your team loses Morale. Lose enough Morale and your team SURRENDERS. This game would be MUCH better if your team had an IQ higher then a chicken.

Experience the idiocy here!

Points: +300/+500

Level 3 - Hunted Forever

Unless it ends in 20 minutes, and when it does, RUN! RUN AWAY, MEATBAG!

Hunted Forever tricks you. It seems extremely fun at first, but then it gets okay, then it gets mediocre, and then you realize that it's a waste of time to play it. You control whichever meatbag you're stuck with, and if you get hit 2 times, another meatbag takes your place. The object of the game is to:

1. Not die
2. Get to the exit
3. Get the gears

Each of them seem fun but get boring over time...

1:I only died when I TRIED to stand perfectly still to get decent pictures of death. Unless you're trying to wall jump up in a tight space, you should avoid all of the lasers, the mines, the missles..

2: The exit is the most boring part of all. It'll take 15-30 minutes of dungeon crawling to get out of here.

3:Later in the game, you won't want to get the gears. There's no point in looking all over the place for a gear.

Anyway, as a meatbag you can run, jump, wall jump, and die. The only way you can die is the big menacing machine that will be trying to kill you. He starts out with only a main laser, but as time goes by you'll experience more deaths. Sounds cool, right? Well, the problem is most of these deaths are incredibly easy to avoid. Even if you stand still you can avoid some of them.

The gears are the main part of the game. You have to collect the gears and give them to meatbags in factories scattered around in the game. For 5 gears you can get:

Speed Upgrade
Another Speed Upgrade
Another Another Speed Upgrade
An extra life
Another extra life
A third extra life
More jump power
Even more jump power
Even MORE jump power.

They're all the same. None of them are more powerful then each other (the speed, life, and jump related to themselves, that is). This means that all the speed upgrades give you the same specific speed boost. It's a nice concept.. if it hadn't been done tons of times before. Not to mention the gears are very rare (like 30-40 of them in the entire game?) and there are only 3 or 4 factories. It's not really worth it. There are also 3 other upgrades, the OMGWTFBBQ pack

The OMG - Loss of size. I think that means you, but why would you want a tiny man? Less jump power? This is the OMG because you'll say "OMG why did I buy this upgrade?" Not to mention it costs 25 gears.

The WTF - Double Jump. This is actually a decent upgrade, but it costs 50 gears. Don't you think that's alot? This is the WTF because you'll go "WTF double jump is actually good! Too bad it cost me 50 gears."

The BBQ - Deliciousness. Who knows? It's a whole 250 gears. I bet it's something stupid.

There's one more thing left to mention. I only refer to humans as meatbags because of the Automated Support System. It keeps referring to humans as meatbags, and making awful jokes. It's like GLaDOS but worse.

Basically, if the game was more fun, the game would have been good.

Be hunted for 20 minutes here!

Points: +350/+500

BONUS POINTS!

There are many deaths that the scary machine can give you, but I'll show you 5 of them.



1: (Top-left death) The main laser. The first weapon you see. It's incredibly easy to avoid.
2: (Top-right death) The side lasers. Being the second weapon, it should be a little harder then the first, but to avoid it, all you need to do is stand still. Literally.
3: (Middle-left death) The bombs are the third weapon, and they can also be avoided by standing still. Most of the time. The locations of the drops are random though. There are a ton of bombs that are dropped. I've counted, and it's either 20 or 30.
4: (Middle-right death) The chainsaw is the fourth death, and it's very annoying. It FOLLOWS YOU AROUND. The good thing is, it can't go through walls, and it's an idiot so it'll keep ramming into walls.
5: (Bottom-left death) The mines. They're the fifth death, and they're very annoying if the machine places them right. It puts like 10 or 20 mines in a place, waits 3 seconds, and then they all explode. The blast radius is pretty big too.

Level 2 - The Last Canopy

Go forth and fly.
This game is beautiful. It's near perfection. The only way it could be made better are not flaws, but things that every game could have. It's missing multiplayer, but does that really count? No, I am rating the pure core of the game here, the part of the game with a unique concept. No more "shoot the enemies and pick up lame powerups." None of that nonsence in this game...

You actually absorb powers from the enemy by pressing X. You then shoot out a line, and if that line connects with the enemy, you start sucking up their powers. It could take anywhere from 1 second to 20 seconds (Haven't gotten up to 20 seconds though, so this is just an estimate. The long absorbs are from bosses, not normal enemies) to suck up an enemy's power, depending on whether it's a enemy, a big enemy, a big big enemy, or a boss.

Once you've absorbed an enemy's powers, you can blast it back out at them. Give them a taste of their own medicine, some call it. This creates so much options in fighting, it brings a tear to your eye. Like an enemy's power? Just absorb it and you'll get it to kill everything in your way. It gets better though.. you can have up to 5 powers at a time! That means if you wanna blast somebody with those spinning cresents you see in the picture above, those dashes that make up a circle (you can't see it all in that picture, just 2 of those dashes) and those bird shaped blasts in front of your ship, you can have it. It comes with a price though..

and that price is they fade over time. That time is short though, so you might be losing your ability that you just got 30 seconds ago. Are you doomed? No, because, remember, you can absorb any enemies powers at any given time. Overall, this is a great concept to play around with and experiment to see what powers work the best for you. It's hard, but the good kind of hard. The difficult kind of hard instead of the just plain annoying kind of hard. The storyline is good too, although it's very little. You're a fairy, and you want to rescue a bird. You pick from a game mode that is said in 4 different ways:

"I want to save this bird..

but I'm afraid of heights" - A mode I call experimental mode. This game mode is exactly the same as normal mode, but you have 99 lives. It's kinda hard to die in this mode, so you can use this mode for experimenting with different abilities, but doing it realistically.

I think I can do it" - Normal mode, where you're stuck with 15 lives. Run out of lives and you die. Oh, and did I mention every hit you get in the game is a "1-Hit KO"? That's right, you can only get hit 15 times before you die!

by any means neccessary" - Hard mode. You still have the same number of lives, but the game is harder. The enemies are stronger, overall.

at the cost of my life!" - Extreme mode. Everything seems to be a level backwards here, but it's just my opinion. Harder then hard mode.

and after you pick one, the game starts. That's basically all the game. It gets a bit repetitive after a while, and it could be a bit more iteresting, but what do you expect? It's more fun if you actually play it instead of reading about it. Go on and play it. Go forth and fly!

Points: +450/+500

Bonus Points!

Play The Last Canopy here, and then answer this quiz for bonus points!

1. How many game modes are there?

A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4

2. What's the third boss?

A. A giant swinging machine
B. A machine with a scanner.
C. Another fairy.
D. An evil bird.

3. How many powers can you have at one time?

A. 1
B. 3
C. 5
D. 7

4. What happens if you try to absorb an enemy's power while being scanned?

A. You get attacked by reinforcements.
B. You get zapped and can't move, attack, or absorb.
C. Both A and B.
D. Nothing

5. What color explosion do you have when you die?

A. Pink
B. Blue
C. Green
D. Red




Answers:
1. (D) There are four game modes. Experiment, normal, hard, extreme.
2. (C) You fight another fairy for the third boss. According to it, you're not supposed to "interfere with human affairs" even if it's.. um.. a bird..
3.(C) You can have up to 5 powers at a time.
4.(D) Nothing. It was a trick question. Absorbing is the only thing you CAN do when you're being scanned. If you move or shoot, you get attacked by reinforcements
5.(B) When you die you go out in a pretty blue explosion.

Bonus Stage 1- Ether Wars

Ether Wars is a mess. It's like going backwards from the last game. If you play it, it's easy to see why. Besides that it's a whole other game (there are no waves), it's a whole other messy game. The enemies are way way waaaaay too powerful. No matter what I do, I always end up dying shortly after the two red pom-pom enemies come up. The ether system is a mess, since ether is way too hard to get. Not only that, but the enemy base is protected by yellow orbs. If you rated them on a strength scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being a jar of mustard and 5 being a superhero, these yellow orbs would be 8. Okay fine, I'm exaggerating. It's only a 7.

Extra Points: +250/+500

Play Ether Wars, if you really want to.

Level 1 - Microbe Kombat

Oops.
Microbe Kombat is a mix of a lot of things, yet it fails to find one that works for it. It's an action game, a racing game, a skill game..

It's all those things in one. Sounds nice, right? Well, the problem is these properties are cemented into the ground with what should be bugs but are not. They're real problems with the game. This game had good planning, but overall it's unfair. Especially the viruses.. don't even get me started on those.

So, how is it an action game and all those other things anyway? Well, I'll tell you.

Action - You have to react quick to proteins appearing, and other microbes trying to eat you.
Racing - You have to race to the protein as fast as you can (a problem)
Skill - You have to use your abilities wisely.

Does it fail at them? Yes. Like I said, the game has a good concept, but that's what makes the game bad. The good concept makes you think what the game could have been. And overall, it could have been better.

Points Bonus: +350/+500

BONUS POINTZ!

Action: The game fails at action because there's so little. The most action you'll see is running around in circles trying to get protein because one of the other microbes wants to eat you.

Racing: Racing to get the proteins makes this game a game of pure luck and scrambling around.

Skill: Split is worthless and will probably kill you, spike is overpowered (killing all 5 enemies in the beginning of the game?), ally explode doesn't seem to work (takes too long to click on the ally, your enemy will probably be gone by then), ally growth and speed boost seem fair enough, and stun is pointless.

And now for the problems:

- Proteins appear randomly
- Viruses have no cure
- Viruses are overpowered
- Some enemies are resistant to viruses

The whole game is basically a mess..

Play Microbe Kombat.. if you want to..